The Detroit Pistons find themselves in a dangerous position with 22 games left in the 2023-24 season... They are not the worst team in the league!
That honor goes to the Washington Wizards, losers of 15 straight, who have plummetted past the pathetic Pistons to claim the title of NBA's worst team. This. Will. Not. Do.
After suffering a 28-game losing streak, it seemed all but assured that the Pistons, who haven't won double digit games yet, would have this title locked up, but the Wizards have shown they too have the stomach for a buffet of futility.
It doesn't really matter, as both teams are going to end up in the bottom three and will have 14 percent odds of landing the number one pick. But the worst team can only fall to 5th and the second-worst to 6th, so these final games will likely determine if the Detroit Pistons choose 5th or 6th in the 2024 NBA Draft. This could be a game-changer! (not really).
So how do the Detroit Pistons ensure this catastrophe doesn't happen? Easy, they just have to lean on head coach Monty Williams, the perfect guy to get them back to the bottom.*
*For those of you who don't recognize sarcasm, this is not serious, so save your emails.
5 obvious moves Monty Williams must make to maximize Pistons' lottery odds
#5: Get those rotation numbers back up
Monty Williams has inexplicably only played 10 players in the last few games. What?!? Surely the worst team in franchise history has a deeper cast than that?
No Malachi Flynn in the last game? Travesty!
Monty did his part by having Evan Fournier play more than Cade Cunningham in the blowout to Orlando, but he has to pump those roster numbers back up! Get Buddy Boeheim up here already! I want hockey shifts and to see at least 13-14 players in the rotation.
Why develop your best young players or build chemistry for next season when the 5th pick in the draft is on the line? Come on, Monty, get with it.
#4: Play James Wiseman more minutes
I was shocked and horrified when I saw Isaiah Stewart playing the backup center spot just 60 games into the season. What kind of wild experiment was this?
Tank commander James Wiseman is surely the Pistons' best bet to get back to the bottom, so he should be the primary backup center and involved in most of the offensive plays when he's on the floor.
His pick-and-roll with Malachi Flynn is a thing of beauty, nearly as poetic as his work with Killian Hayes, so we can't have this Bambi-legged man playing only 15 minutes per game.
Wiseman does his part on both ends of the floor to try and get the Detroit Pistons back where they belong, at the bottom, with their hands wrapped tightly around that 5th pick. MORE WISEMAN MINUTES!
#3: Keep playing the guys who won't be on the team next season
Why play your best young players big minutes when you can fill out your rotation with guys who won't be on the team next year?
Surely the development of Troy Brown Jr.,Malachi Flynn, Evan Fournier and General James Wiseman is the most important thing in the worst season in team history.
These players are like the Globetrotters of increased lottery odds and should get as many minutes as possible, otherwise, the 5th pick could slip from the Pistons' grasp, which could sabotage the glorious restoration.
#2: Do not, under any circumstances, stagger Cade Cunningham and Jaden Ivey
Monty Williams did the unthinkable in the last two games, briefly staggering Cade Cunningham and Jaden Ivey so that one of his best two offensive players was always on the floor.
What?!? BRING BACK THE ALL BENCH UNITS!
Keeping Ivey out there without Cade might help him improve as a primary ballhandler and scorer. We can't have that.
Using Ivey with other combinations of bench guards may help to get them better looks, and what about Malachi Flynn? Are you just going to act like he doesn't exist?
This is how you end up with the second-worst record in the league instead of the worst. What is Williams thinking?
#1: Just keep doing what you're doing
Who am I to tell Monty Williams how to plummet to the bottom of the league? The man is obviously doing a bang-up job without the assistance of a silly writer like me.
I especially hope he keeps benching his starters and widening that rift between him and his players, as this is the sure-fire guaranteed way to ensure this team maximizes its lottery odds.
We really just need to step out of the way and let the man do his thing.
The Detroit Pistons are a half game ahead of the Washington Wizards for the worst record in the Eastern Conference, but luckily they play Miami tonight, the perfect chance to give that half game back.
Don't let the Wizards outdo you coach, this is OUR 27.8 percent chance for the 5th pick and they can't just come and take it without a fight.