Bob Wojnowski of The Detroit News gave Christmas gifts to local sports figures, and though my favorite is Dave Brandon’s, there are a few good ones for the Pistons:
Andre Drummond: A position in the Pistons starting lineup.
Joe Dumars: A winning lottery ticket.
Lawrence Frank: Same thing I try to give every Pistons coach — slightly more job security than a North Korean opposition party member.
Tom Gores: Not sure if it’s legal, but I’ve been rounding up fannies to plop in the empty Palace seats.